Dare to Begin...

My world has kinda turned upside down. In the next few months everything in my life will have changed and become new.


New school.

New city.

New transportation.

New job.

New environments.

New working styles.

New teachers.

New boss.

New students.

New co-workers.

Everything NEW.

And honestly I've been terrified of it. I like to know what is going to happen, what to be prepared for and new things don't give me that. There is this factor of unknown that comes with the word new. You can never be sure about everything that is going to happen when something is new and that scares me more than probably anything else. I like to know and be prepared. I like to be aware of everything that could happen so I don't do anything dumb or so I don't forget something. I just like to know and to have some sort of control. New doesn't bring me much control.

This fear of new and change really has been something I've always struggled with, but especially recently. I just get so caught up in not knowing. I worry about not being prepared. I try to prepare myself by creating situation after situation of every little thing that might happen that I freak myself out with all of the possibilities. It has caused me much pain and grief unfortunately. But I'm working on it. I'm trying to find the good that comes with new. Its not going to come easy, but I know that it will be worth it.

Something that has helped me see the good in all of the new are a few quotes that I have found. I often have trouble putting words in a coherent way that express how I feel. So I turn to those that are more eloquent and have perfectly phrased my jumbled feelings. 

So here are the ones that have helped me and I hope they make sense and help you too.

"There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on." - ?

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"The secret of getting started is breading your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one." - Mark Twain

"All glory comes from daring to begin." - Eugene F. Ware 

So ya. My life is all really new and its kinda freaking me out right now. But I know that I just got to keep looking for the good in the new and that its all gonna end up ok. Like the last quote says all you gotta do is dare to begin.

Weird...

In one week...

at 4 pm in the afternoon...

I will officially be graduated from high school.

Weird.

My years of public school will be over. I will be going to college in the fall (I signed up for my classes this last weekend!). I will be considered "grown up."

Weird.

Life has just gone by so fast. I remember being the second grade and just dying because time went by so slowly. We all felt that way. But my teachers always assured me and my peers that as we grew physically older, time would seem to speed up and before we knew it we would be a senior in high school a week away from graduation.

I never believed them.

But they were right.

Weird.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to get out of high school already. I'm excited to get out of this little town I live in where everyone says, does, and believes the same thing. I'm so excited to have something completely new in my life. I'm excited to continue to grow and learn in a new exciting environment. I'm so excited to be in a big city full of different people and ideas. I honestly can't wait!

Its just going to be very different and really just...

Weird.

But cool.

One week...

at 4 pm...

I'm ready.

Officially lasted one year...

May 10, 2012

It was a big day for me. 

I have officially lasted one year without a migraine.

Now this doesn't seem like it should matter so much. Migraines aren't that big of a deal you might say. Well they are, for me.

You see, I have what they call Sporadic Hemiplegic Migraines. Ha ya big fancy name. Well these fancy-name migraines are....awful. That's the easiest way to say it. 

Sporadic Hemiplegic Migraines are medically defined as "migraine attacks associated with some degree of motor weakness/hemiparesis during the aura phase and where no first degree relative (parent, sibling or child) has identical attacks." (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15566415)

Basically I get intense pain PLUS all of the symptoms of a stroke. The right side of my body goes numb and I can't use it. I lose my vision. I have trouble understanding what people are saying. And I talk gibberish.

Sounds like fun huh?

They come completely randomly which makes them even more scarey. But I have found that if I can eat well, sleep well, and keep my stress down, I am less likely to get one, but being a senior in high school with only a few more weeks of school that is kinda hard to do. So not having one for a full year is a really big deal.

One day I will explain the whole story. But for now I just want to be thankful for this blessed migraine free year. For a year without pain and panic. For a year of a little more peace.

And to look forward to hopefully another year of no migraines!

-Megan 

It Was Just Perfect....

So, when everyone is a little girl, well not everyone...just the girls...Anyway! When girls were little they always dreamed of becoming a princess. They got the dress up clothes, played with mom's make up, watched all of the Disney films, the whole shabang! 

Well...I wasn't one of those girls. I liked animals and dirt and cars and climbing trees. I didn't like pink or ruffles or dresses...unless they were completely plain...then I tolerated them. I liked to wear t-shirts and pants. Nothing fancy. I played and hung out with all of the guys. I didn't have a favorite Disney princess. So yes I was a complete tom-boy. I never had those dreams of becoming a princess one day and have a happily ever after....

Well that changed when I was older. Not only do I have some sort of style now,(I'm still not a huge fan of skirts, but I do wear cute clothes that are made for girls), but I did want to be a princess... of sorts...for just one special night...

PROM

Yes the thought of Prom came to me when I was in middle school. I would hear other students, mostly girls, talk about their older sisters getting ready for the special night. I eventually learned what it was...a night where a guy and a girl get all dolled up in gowns and tuxes to go to a dance. It was talked about as if it were almost sacred.

By this time I had started to pay attention to boys and what I was wearing...and realized that I wanted to go to Prom someday. I wanted to get asked and find the perfect dress. I wanted to get all dolled up and feel like the most beautiful thing there was. I wanted for one night to feel like I was a princess.

So I got to high school and in both my sophomore and junior years I didn't get asked. But I always had hope because I had another year, another chance for my special night.

I am in my senior year now, and I knew that when the school year started I was going to go to Prom. I had decided that even if I didn't get asked I was still going to go. Everyone has to go to Prom once in their life right? So I began to pay attention to dresses in about March. Well right by where I work, there is a little Bridal Shop. I would drive past it everyday home from work and one day I glanced while driving past and saw it. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. For the next few days I would only get glances at it as I drove past. One day I got tired of it all and pulled over. I got out of the car and walked up to the window.  I knew then that this was my dress.

A few weeks later I went in with my mom and bought it. It was absolutely perfect! So I had the dress....now I just needed my Prince Charming.

Well long story short...I went through three dates. Yes I did say THREE. For some reason or another whether it was they asked someone else and completely lead me on or last minute decided they didn't want to go to the dance or that they had a HUGE school fee they had to pay or they wouldn't graduate so they had to take a shift at work.....I was stuck with the dress of my dreams and no date to Prom two days before the dance.

Now I had decided before that if I didn't get asked, I would just go by myself, but sitting there with that being my only option....I wasn't so happy with it. I was sad that I wouldn't have someone to make me feel all special, someone that would open the door for me, pull back my chair, help me up the stairs in my dress....I wanted a Prince Charming to escort me to the ball I had been dreaming about for all those years...

This is the time in the fairy tales that the Fairy Godmother comes in and saves the day. Well I did have someone save me...and it wasn't a fairy...or a mother....It was my dad! :) He called up a man in my neighborhood that we were friends with. My dad told the man what had happened to me and if his son might be able and willing to take me to Prom. The man contacted his son and then called my dad back with the amazing news that his son would love to go to Prom with me! :) So I want to give a HUGE GIGANTIC ENORMOUS thank you to my dad! Without you I wouldn't have had such an amazing night! I love you!!!

So the big night came and I was sooo excited. I got all ready and my mom helped me into my dress...now it was time to wait...I was all jittery and nervous. I was super excited but I didn't know my date super well and I just wanted to the night to be perfect....well IT WAS!!! 

It was THE GREATEST night of my entire life!!!! :) My date, Cyler, was soo much fun! He was so sweet. He borrowed his grandpa's car (a Chrysler 300!!!!). He always got my door AND he always tucked in my dress so it didn't get closed in the car door. He was such a gentleman and he is sooo funny! :) He had me laughing all night!  I want to thank Cyler soooooo much for taking me to Prom. You were the BEST date ever! Thank you thank you thank you!! You are the greatest!

Well he picked me up and we headed off to dinner at the Garden Restaurant. We met up with the rest of our group there too. We had a wonderful meal (I had the Romano Encrusted Chicken Pasta...SOOO GOOD!!). We talked and laughed and watched the beautiful sunset outside. After we finished, we headed to the dance at the State Capitol Building! We had such a great time! :) We danced and took pictures and ahh it was such an amazing night! After the dance we went to a friends place and watched a movie...it was Tarzan..haha! I hadn't seen that movie forever and I was so much fun!!

Yes I had a chance to be a princess for one night! I had my Prince Charming and I had the most amazing night at the ball! It couldn't have been more perfect! :)

And yes...now it is picture time!! :) I want to thank the amazing Shayna Henke for taking these amazing photos!!!

 So here I am all dolled up!!! I love these earrings!!

AND....

Here's THE dress!!! :)

I love this dress!!! It is still hanging up in my house! :)

Oh and the fabulous little jacket I'm wearing is actually my grandmother's! She wore it to her Prom! I loved it! :) So thanks grandma!!

Here are my shoes...they were surprisingly comfortable...and gorgeous!!! haha! I love shoes!

This is my dad!! One of the heroes of the night and in my life! I love my daddy soooo much!!! :)

This is my mommy....I love her soo much too!

 I LOVE this picture!! This is my little brother Bryson! What a stud!! :)

And now....

what you have all been waiting for...

My date!!

Here is the amazing Cyler!!

We looked good huh?! :)

 He had pretty big muscles...he couldn't help showing them off! haha! :)

 So Shayna didn't take this one...but I wanted to show ya'll what I got to ride in!!! :) It was sooo stinking fast! Cyler and I decided to see how fast we could go while getting on the freeway....(90 mph by the way...) and it was sooo much fun! It is a way nice car and I totally want one now!

 

And here he is being such a gentleman and tucking in my dress!

 So yes it was the best night EVER! I felt so pretty, just like a true princess! It was even better than I could have ever hoped or dreamed the night would be! It was just perfect! :)

-Megan

Ruby Tuesday...

This is Ruby....Ruby Tuesday :)

She loves scrambled eggs, cheese, Starbucks pumpkin bread, steak, spice cake, and just about any other food....well except stuff like broccoli! :) She loves to stick her head out the window when we take a ride. She loves to take walks and sniff everything that exists. She loves chasing me when I wear my cow slippers. She loves to play and snuggle. She loves to look out the window and watch the world go by. 

She's my baby and one of my best friends. 

She slept in my room and often on my bed. She would run and jump on me and bark when I would get home from school, work, or even when I just ran outside to get the mail....but I usually bring her with me to do that.

She loves to smile...like the picture above. She brings smiles to everyone cuz she is just so dang cute! haha! And because she's a funny little dog....she's a Labrador Retriever Chihuahua....haha! ya...that's always a fun one to explain...lets just say her mom was the Lab and her dad was the chihuahua...they got creative... ;)

She always knows when something is wrong and she is right there to sit upon you and give loads of kisses. She's always the first to inform that there is someone at the door...you know just in case we didn't hear the knock or doorbell...she's helpful like that! haha! She's also great at cleaning up the floor! haha! :)

Ruby is a major part of our family.


Well...sweet little Ruby would have been 7 today. My baby girl got sick at the end of last year and she passed away on January 22. Its been 3 months now and I still don't go a day without thinking about her. Our house just isn't the same without her. Its a lot quieter...but its just not the same.

I miss you baby. Happy Birthday.

-Megan  

The official explanation of the shoes....

So...nothing has really happened in my fabulous little world recently...well nothing that is really worth talking about to all of you people...

So I thought that I would explain a story from my past...

FLASHBACK!!!!

Now in my first post, I said that I loved photography and posted a bunch of photos by moi! (That is spelled really weird...I had to google it...ha)

Anyway...I posted a bunch of pictures and well this was one of them:

  

So it is time for me to explain the meaning of this picture...it isn't what it seems...ha!

So......it all started in late summer of 2010. I had just turned 16 that spring and I was looking for a job. Well in my fun city there is a place called Cornbelly's that comes every October and has loads of fun fall stuff like pumpkins, hayrides, food, music, playgrounds, and two different corn mazes: a normal get lost kind of one....and a haunted one... :)

Well I decided to apply that late summer...and what do ya know? I get called in for an interview! Yay me! So I get the interview and I get an email and I'm HIRED!! YAY MY FIRST JOB!!! :) 

A few weeks later is the employee party kick-off thing where you learn all of the rules for being a good person and employee so you don't make people mad and get fired. You also find out what section of Cornbelly's you will be working in. So they go through the whole be a good person shpeel and then each of the managers over the different parts come up and call of the people that they are over. 

Long story short...Jason Belnap calls my name...he is over...the HAUNTERS!!! :) Ya! pretty much the funnest job EVER!!! So yes for the last two Octobers I have been running around...well not really...I've usually been tied up...but still...I've been about in a corn maze scaring the crap out of people while covered in blood!! YAY!!! So the picture above are the wonderful pair of shoes that I wore for both Octobers...I have since gotten a new pair...but I haven't gotten around to throwing this pair away...we have just been through too much together! haha! I know they are shoes...but by know ya'll should know that I do many childish things...like not being able to throw a pair of gnarly bloody shoes away...

Now...I'm gonna share some more pics...OF COURSE!!! :) Not all of these were taken by me, but I want you to get a feel of what went on in the life of a teenage haunter! Enjoy!!

Kay so I would first like to show what I normally look like...on a really good day I might add!!

So yes I am fairly cute (I think) and blonde curly hair and sweet smile...nothing that would seem creepy or would bring to mind thoughts of fear....

Well....here is what I look like at work...

October 2010 

So....not so cute and loverly huh?! haha! 

Yes there was lots of blood involved...bloody shoes make more sense now....

So ya the first October I was the victim of two cannibals. We eventually got this HUGE grill that I was chained to where I would kick and scream and beg for help while my lovely and very hungry partners terrorized those that dared to pass by.... good times!

haha! Small side note!! While I was kicking and screaming upon my oh so comfortable metal grill....I actually broke it...like the first night...haha! Ya I am that strong! AND One night this little old lady came through and she was really bothered by my cries for help and so she actually came over and tried to HELP me!! Yes she actually came over and tried to undo the chains that connected me to my eternal doom!!......let's just say that it was a slightly awkward moment....

CARRY ON.... :)

October 2011

 

So this last October I again signed up to be a haunter and again got in!!! Happy Day! So this year I was a victim...again! And I was chained up....again! haha! Apparently I'm pretty good at the whole chained up damsel in distress that has been captured by some psychopath and beaten bloody...haha!

Yes...that's what I did...except this time I was chained up to a pole while my partner...who you will see in a sec...would hide behind a barrel. The wonderful people would come around a corner and see me on the ground chained up, beaten, and bloody, crying for help! Now a light was shining at me as well as in the faces of the unsuspecting guests so that they didn't notice the barrel just behind the light shining into their eyes that my partner was hiding behind. Then just as they got to the barrel he would jump out and smash his huge chain against said barrel and go into some psycho rant with the occasional smacking around of me....great fun!! haha!

Oh another fun tid bit...the picture above shows the wonderful make up that had to be applied every night....well thanks to youtube I learned how to do all that myself and did it every night!! I was pretty proud of myself...so if you ever find yourself in need of someone that can make you look like you have just been beat up....I'm your gal!!! :)

Now...for my partner!!

May I present to you the wonderful Jason!!! :)

Don't we just make a great pair?!

haha! So this is Jason! He has been my partner for both of the wonderfully terrifying Octobers of being a haunter! He is incredibly talented and....I am willing to admit that I found myself genuinely scared on multiple occasions while working with him! haha! And that's when I knew that he is actually a super nice guy and I know that he would never ever EVER hurt me in real life!! So ya... :) We work well together! 

So I have had many fun times and hope to have more...if my schedule will allow it...fingers crossed!!

So there you have it! The official explanation of the shoes!

-Megan 

 

Just don't....

I'm just going to say this as plainly as I know how...

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!!!

Ok now it is out there for all to know.

Let me explain my frustrations to those of you that now know but yet do not seem to understand.

I've seen girls... from the skinny twig ones up to the bigger girls... that have decided that leggings can be worn all by themselves... none of them look good!!! NONE OF THEM!! Even those twiggy, un-naturally skinny chicas.

Leggings are supposed to be worn under things... like skirts or shorts... not all by themselves.... they just show too much information and are very unflattering on any figure.

I'm sorry it is just a fact of life.

Don't wear leggings as pants... just don't.

-Megan