I want to be not lame...

ugh. Ok..If anyone is actually reading this consistently..I am sorry for the amount of time that has gone by. You see..I am obnoxiously busy. 

I have an internship, school, and a job. I barely have time for anything...even eating! When I do eat...it's usually just pretzels and/or a protein bar. I know it's not healthy...but that's my reality...grab and go...


Random question...Do you ever just wish you could jump forward like two years? You would have all the memories of the things that happened during that time, but you just wake up and its two years from now...

That sounds a little more weird than it did in my head...But that's kinda how I feel. I just want to be in the next part of my life! I'm super impatient! haha.. I just want to be done with school, have a full time job/career, a new car, an apartment, doing my own thing in life already...

I guess I just feel like I'm in a rut. I do the same thing every day basically. Nothing exciting happens in my life. I go to internship where I send a lot of emails, collect information, update documents with the information I found...I go to school and listen to my teachers lecture...I go to work where I usually just stand behind my register and try not to completely zone out...I sleep..barely...and then I do it all over again. I have no extracurricular activities, no romantic entanglements, no social life basically...I work. 

I'm kind of a downer today...Sorry.. I don't usually condone ranting about ones personal issues about how much life sucks on the web like this...but this is just what my life has been for the last....forever it feels like..(over dramatic much?) 

My life is just really...safe...right now and it is starting to wear on me...

I want to go on an adventure. I want to fall in love. I want to be reckless. I want to do something courageous. I want to ... do SOMETHING! BAH! 

I feel really lame right now...I want to be not lame.

How eloquent right?!

Anyway...Off to work! Yippee!

I promise next time will be sooner and not such a downer!

Til next time.

MJ

I'm making time for something...

January 17, 2014

     Hey again! Sorry it's been a few days...Life is crazy!!! I rarely have time for anything outside of school and work anymore!

     Well tonight...I am making time for something... Tonight, accompanied with a group of lovely ladies that I work with, I am going LATIN DANCING at a NIGHT CLUB!!!

     I'm soooo excited! I haven't gone out with a group of girls and had fun in....I can't even remember when! How sad is that?!? Well it is going to be so much fun!!

     Ah! I can't wait! I don't even know how to explain it! I am just sooo excited! :)

     And I'm gonna look hot! So...Ya that helps!

     And....Is is weird to say that I hope I meet someone...? Cuz...I kinda do.... :)

     Anyway..I have to go to work and then I'm off to my super fun night! I'll let you know what happens!

MJ

Life is Hard...

     Well...Tomorrow starts the second week of the rest of my crazy life. I have officially been to all of my classes and I can say that I don't think that they are going to be too horrible..well for the most part. There are two classes that I am a little nervous about...But only time will tell how soon they will kill me.. Haha.

     Anyway..If you remember, a few days ago I wrote of the state of stress I was in. You see, I have a way of dealing with my stressful/overwhelming times. I first completely panic...You have to start somewhere right?! Then after I have thought of all the awful things that could go oh so horribly wrong with whatever situation I am facing, I get kinda depressed or defeated. Then I usually have a good old fashioned cry and then fall asleep from the exhaustion the whole thing has caused me.

     Now there is no need to fear; there is light at the end of this dramatic dreary tunnel. For you see, by the time I wake up, I'm read. I've had my pity party and now I'm ready to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I can't say I'm not going to have future break downs, but for the moment, I've done my best to bury the stress and put on a strong face. Fake it til you make it as the saying goes.

     Life is hard. Things will be tight. There will be times when nothing seems to go our way. But you can't give in. You can't allow those moments, people, circumstances, etc. to win. DON'T LET THEM WIN! You can do it!! Keep on keeping on. And I know that's so much easier said than done. Oh believe me I know! But I also know that in the end its worth it. 

     You'll come out stronger, wiser, better. You'll know you can do more that you thought you could. And with that knowledge of what you are capable of, it will make the next test, trial, obstacle, whatever you want to call it, more manageable. Because you know that you CAN DO IT!

     Don't give up! Cry, breathe, run, read, write, whatever you have to do, but please DON'T GIVE UP!!

Remember that.

Til next time.

MJ

I Hope He Calls Again...

     Well... I went on a date... :) It was SUPER fun!

     Before I dish all the dirt, let me first clue you in on how I got this date...

     So I don't date much...Well at all really...Not by choice, if that's what you're thinking! I very much want to and like to date! I just...don't. Don't ask me why...I really don't know... And believe me people have asked..awkward.

     Now this cruel reality of my love life is something that bothers my father very much. I'm kind of a Daddy's girl and he says I'm too fantastic to stay at home so much. So...he has taken it upon himself to give out my number to as many good young men that he can...

     I know slightly embarrassing  but still really sweet. :) And it has been kinda successful. This is the second date that has come out of this crusade for love.

     Anyway...now for the good stuff!!

     So...his name is Nate. And he's great! How profound of me right?! HA! But really though, he is great! He is really cute.. :) And he's funny and really smart and athletic and passionate and well spoken and driven and...wow...it sounds kinda weird to go on about a guy who I just went on my first date with! And a blind date at that!

     .....I don't know...I was just really impressed with him...Don't judge me!

     I felt we really got along and he's easy to talk to and I really enjoyed being around him. There wasn't really any awkward pauses or moments which is big because I'm kinda the queen of awkward!

     Anyway...I should probably tell ya what we did right..?

     So we went laser tagging! :) The local bowling alley has an arcade and laser tag in it so we went and just joined up with another group and had at it! We played some of the arcade games while we were waiting our turn to play. Seriously...it was so much fun! :) We played the basketball hoop game and the football throwing game and the race car arcade game! We got a ton of tickets and got goofy little toys at the end! Ya it was super fun!

     Sidenote: I have to say I did a ton better at the basketball and football than I thought I would! :)

     Oh and laser tagging...SO FUN!! I haven't been in ages! The first game, I did awful!! Haha! But the second game, I doubled my score and my accuracy was 2% higher than everyone else! Oh Ya!! Go second game!

     Oh and then we went and got frozen yogurt and talked! Again...he is really great to talk to!

     I had so much fun! And...Let's just say I hope he calls me again...

Til next time...

MJ

I'm STRESSED!!!

January 8, 2014

     Well today was my first day of school...and...I'm 

STRESSED!!

I've only been to two of my classes!! GAHH!!

     Kay here is my day... Well the basic schedule of the day. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. I get ready and then leave my house at 7:15. I get on the bus at 7:24 and then TRAX (Utah's version of above ground subway/street car/train...) at 7:50. I get up to Salt Lake by 8:30. I intern from 9-12. Then my first class starts at 12:40.

     On Mondays and Wednesdays, my first class goes from 12:40-1:40 and my second class goes from 1:50-3:20. I then get back on TRAX at 3:30, get on the bus at 4:20, and then get home by 4:45. Then if I have work, I'm scheduled from 6 until 10.

     On Tuesdays and Thursdays, everything is the same in the morning. My first class goes from 12:40-2:10. My second class goes from 2:20-3:50. Then I get on TRAX at4 and the bus at 4:50... I don't get home until 5:15! And remember if I have work...It's at 6.

     Oh and I have to add in all the homework. Some of which (a lot of which actually...) is done on a software I don't have and It can't be done in class... So I have to somehow fit in coming before class or stay after forever to get all that done! And I have to sleep and eat and attempt at having a social life.

     And I found out that a class I have, that I thought only met 3 times during the semester, meets every week!!! So I'm probably going to have to wake up an hour earlier so I can intern form 8-12 Monday through Wednesday so I can make up for the lost day. Which means less sleep!!!

     Thank the Heavens I have no school on Friday so I can catch up on sleep and try to catch up on the home work!!

     This is going to be a long semester...

Til Next Time...

MJ

The First Week of the Rest of My Life...

Next entry!

1/6/14 aka January 6, 2014

     So today was the start of a really big week...In some ways, it could be the first week of the rest of my life... Let me explain...

     So today was the first day of my internship. (I am going to be the administrative assistant for the Marketing team of a genealogy site called Family Search for the next 6 months.)

     On Wednesday, I start my last semester at LDSBC. I graduate in April with my Associate's Degree.

     Also I'm going on a date on Friday... :) With a really cute guy...We're going laser tagging. Hee..Hee..

     Now let me explain that whole "rest of my life" thing...

     Now remember this is all best case scenario stuff...like the best.

     So this internship could turn into a full time job..my career.

     If I get a full time job, then I don't have to go to any more school. I can. I could do night school. Or I could take a break and save up some before I go back to night school. Or...like I said, I don't have to go back at all.

     Then...well this next part is most definitely the best case scenario deal...but here it goes...So ya...I have a date on Friday and well...case scenario... He could be "the one." WOW... It sounds lame and weird to say that, but hey..it could happen.

The End...of my explanation...

Now you understand how this week, if everything lines up perfectly, could very easily be the first day of the rest of my life.

Til next time.

-MJ 

A List of Things that are Secret...

Hello again...

Well, recently I got a cool journal and for some reason I have become extremely attached to it. I am really good at writing in it.. Like every other day. Also I feel like I write better in it as well... I am pretty sure that it is magical.. But that's just me.

Anyway... I have decided that I might just post the things that I write in my magical journal on here. Normally that would freak me out because my journal is kind of private... But then again... I don't really think anyone reads my blog.. So no harm no foul, right?! 

So here goes nothing!! (I'm going to start with the entry after New Year's day because it is a lot like the post I made on here..and that my friends would be redundant...)

January 3, 2014

     So I did something really stupid. I knew it was stupid when it started and I knew I would only get hurt in the end, but I did it anyway. Because I'm stupid. Well it blew up in my face last night.

      I'm not totally ready to actually talk about what this stupid thing is quite yet... So don't ask...

     But I decided to make a list of things that are secret or not so known about me that I'm willing to tell you about.

1. I want a tattoo.
     I want to get a lot of different tattoos actually, but with the line of work I'm going into (Administrative Assisting) and the culture I live in (Utah Mormons..), it's not something that is smiled upon. So I'm really tempted to get one in the middle of my back, where no one will see it... I want to get a sun. I can't decide if I want it in black, brown, or possibly red ink... Oh well, I probably won't ever get one. But we'll see. I might do it on impulse one day.

2. My first kiss went to jail two days after we kissed for drug possession. 
     Ya...How romantic.
     It's a really long story but basically we worked together at a haunted corn maze. So we got comfortable with each other really fast. He kissed me and then two days later he went to jail. We didn't really talk about it after...or talk at all really. And no...my parents have no idea...

3. I've snuck out of my house to make out with a guy in a tree house for a few hours.
      That makes me sound like a whore, right? Or just an adventurous, stupid teenager? Either way it was fun.

4. I daydream all the time.
     Like ALL THE TIME!!! I think of things that could happen and how I would react to them. Yes, it usually has to do with boys, but sometimes it's something like a gun man comes into my work or school and I stop him...That's not weird..is is?

5. I'm pretty good at twerking...
     For a white girl that is... I've always had pretty good control of my hops and just enough junk in the trunk.. :)

Hmmm... What else...?

6. I have a million celebrity crushes.
     Way more than a normal person. Way more than I'd like to count...but..off the top of my head I can easily count more than 20.

7. I never match my socks.
     Unless it's my wool socks.

8. I have a slight obsession with flattened pennies.
     If I have a penny and two quarters, then I will get one...or two...I have a ton from Disneyland..

9. I am SUPER attracted to accents.
     Really though. Some guy will be alright or even so/so, but if they have an accent, particularly UK accents, they instantly become a million times hotter.

10. I hold my utensils like a British person.
     Ya know.. fork in the left hand and knife in the right. It's so much easier; you never have to put them down or switch hands! Duh!

There you have it!

Til next time!

-MJ

What I Want...

Wow. I am really awful at this whole blogging thing. My apologies.

Anyway... 

It is a NEW YEAR!!

HAPPY 2014!!

So with the start of the New Year, I want to try to be better at this... Also at expressing how I really feel. I want to be more honest. I want to not be so ... I don't want to say scared, but that's the only word that I can think of. 

Last year was great. I did a lot of things that I am proud of. I finished my first year of college. I survived working two jobs (Ross and Lowe's Home Improvement) all summer long that totaled to 50-60+ hours a week. I quit my job at Ross because it wasn't a good place for me, which felt really good. I made a lot of good friends at work and school. I went to California. I saw the ocean again. I went to Disneyland. I laughed. I sang. I danced. I took a TON  of pictures.

I had a good time. But I want this year to be better. Like I said, I want to be more honest. I want to put myself out there more. I want to be less scared. I want to go on more adventures.

I found this picture that pretty much explains my hopes for this next year.

Ya.. I like it. It's pretty much exactly what I want. 

I want to start new. How cliche right? I don't care. It's true. It is what I want and so I am going to go for it. 

So ya.. There it is! :)

Til next time.

-MJ