It might become somewhat of a drug for me...

The other day, I talked about how I have become rather fond of hiking and going up into the canyon. Well it is true. Oh so very true. I think that it might become somewhat of a drug for me. 

I don't think that I can correctly put it into words right now. (I just got home from a long day of work... aka... I'm totally brain dead at this time..) BUT you are in luck! 

You see I went up into the canyon this morning and I brought a journal with me and I was able to rather eloquently put into words how being up in the mountains make me feel. So I thought I'd share that with you, as well as some pictures that I took today!

Here we go...

May 22, 2014 

Sometimes life gets to be too much. the complexity of jobs, resumes, loans, cars, college, social media, and even just my own thoughts bog up my life in a way that is too much for me to handle. When the pressure builds, I escape to the only place that has the ability to bring me peace.

Here I sit on the shore of Sliver Lake way up in the canyon, looking over the rippling, blue water and it all goes away. The wind rattles the aspen leaves and seems to drag all of that pressure and complexity and stress right out of me. This is the one place that I can just be.

Surrounded by the mountains, the towering walls of history and life, I am finally able to breathe, truly breathe. My confused, anxiety laden, self-doubting thoughts are silenced. The dramas of work and the thoughts of others don't matter and become practically non-existent. The fears of my unknown future that normally keep me awake for hours at night, seem so small and insignificant. 

For the few hours that I am able to spend out in the canyon, I am able to put the world behind me. I am able to live in the moment, take one step, one breathe at a time. For a few hours, I am whole.

That's my BFF.. just btw..

Go out into the mountains if you have the opportunity!

Til next time!

-MJ

Bryson Class of 2014!

Friday, May 30th. Next Friday. 10 days from now.

That is the day of my brother's graduation. My little man isn't so little anymore.

My brother is pretty much my best friend. He always knows how to make me laugh. We are crazy and goofy and completely ridiculous together. I can be 100% me around him. He is so smart and funny and kind and loving. He has the biggest heart. He is so talented and has accomplished so much these last few years. He has so much to look forward to with this next step of his life; college, education, friends, jobs, opportunities, etc. I am soo excited for him! I can't wait to watch him excel and soar into success! I love him so much, he has no idea. I don't know what I would do without him. No joke!

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of taking his senior pictures. I took almost 300 photos. I edited a little under 100 and I've somehow cut it down to just under 30 of my favorite photos to put on here. It was a process. HAHA! 

Blogger world, I present to you Bryson Class of 2014!

 

I have a lot of soul searching and thinking to do...

There has been a lot on my mind recently. And I have felt rather lost in these last two ish weeks that I haven't posted. 

You see, just a few months ago, I felt on top of the world. I was successfully balancing a busy life full of school, work, internship, a guy that liked me, friends and family, etc. I was feeling good. I had a purpose. I knew where I was going in life. I had all these opportunities ahead of me. I was just so sure and solid of myself and life. 

Well. I graduated school. My internship ended. The guy that I thought liked me a lot, didn't seem to like me as much and moved back to Canada. I've been turned down for a few jobs now. All I have in my life is work. I work as a full time cashier at Lowe's Home Improvement. Woopty-doo.

Recently I've felt my life is quite empty now that everything that was filling my time is gone. I go to work and that is pretty much it. I am not totally sure what to do next with my life.

Should I continue to look for a job? Should I stay where I am or should I look for an office job? What kind of office do I want to work for? Should I settle for a smaller job while I continue to look for my "Dream Job"? What is my "Dream Job?"? Should I go back to school? If so, for what? Communications? Marketing? How am I going to pay for it? If I do decide to just work, what do I do with all of my free time? Should I start to work out? Should I get a gym membership? How do I find a new hobby? Should I start reading more? Should I learn to knit? What do I want to do? 

What is my next step?

A lot of questions with all the same answer. 

It's up to you! 

Unfortunately knowing this answer doesn't really help me much..

I'm not trying to have a pity party..I just feel genuinely lost and confused with life and the vastness of it. The idea that right now I can literally do ANYTHING with my life should feel liberating, but right now it is feeling more daunting and somewhat suffocating to think about.

I am a 20 year old girl with the whole world at the tips of my fingers and all I can think to do is run away into the mountains and cry! 

But I have to keep positive. I know there is hope. I have found a bit of it already. I do know one thing that I like to do and plan to do a lot this summer and the rest of my future.

I love the mountains. The great outdoors. I went into the canyon a few weeks ago on a whim and I loved it. I went back a few days later and the same thing. I don't feel anxious out there. I feel totally at peace and confident and somehow empowered when I'm roaming through the trees and bushes and life. So I bought an annual pass. Now I can go up there whenever I want!

There. Ok. I guess I'm not totally lost. Just mostly. HA!

I have a lot of soul searching and thinking to do.

Til next time.

-MJ

 

It's been a good day...

Kay seriously...It is really amazing how this universe works!

I was all down and lame and sad and the world wasn't going the way that I wanted at all..

Now I decided that I'm gonna be happy and that I'm gonna go for my dreams and what I really want in life and what do I get...

4 JOB INTERVIEWS!!!

Ya you heard me. FOUR! One of them was today and it was with a staffing agency. Then less then two hours after I leave, I get a call and they found a job for me! So that one is next week. Then I'm chilling on the couch being all happy and I get another call. It's from my current job. (I applied to be a full time employee cuz I knew I would get the job and why not get paid more while I look for my dream job.) There's another interview for tomorrow. Then about an hour later...ANOTHER call. This one from... drum roll...VITALSMARTS!! Ya know the company that I actually want to work for!! Ya I've got an interview with them next week too...

It's been a good day... :)

So word to the wise! Be happy!! Even if life totally sucks right now. If you are willing to keep your head up and choose to be happy and moving forward in your life, things will turn around. You will get the things that you want in life. Don't give up!!

Keep smiling ya'll!!

Til next time!

-MJ