Right now isn't forever...

So. I have to be perfectly honest. It's the only way to stay sane now a'days. 

My life isn't going how I was hoping it would. I had this idea during my last semester of college that I was going to graduate, get my dream job right away, meet a special someone (or the thing with the guy I was "dating" would have gone better), I would be getting ready to move out, and things would just being going up for me.

Well...



I am still working at a retail, hardware store as a cashier.

I haven't found my dream job, let alone anything that would be considered a career.

I have been turned down for a lot of jobs actually. Not enough experience.
 
I am so ridiculously single. 

Like not even a slight inkling of anything in the thought of romance. (I still haven't heard anything from that guy that I was dating that went back to Canada. I unfriended him on Facebook. I was angry.)

I am not close to moving out on my own. (I am ridiculously poor.)

I am not in fantastic shape. (I may have stopped the 30 day challenges I was doing because of that bug bite put me out for a few days and then I just didn't start back up... Oops.)



Now I have been kind of down about the fact that my life isn't going in the super fantastical, movie like life. I have written about it a few times on here I think, which make me look like a total downer and makes me feel kind of like a total loser.

I have been doing a lot of deep thinking recently. About what I want in life. What I should do next. And dealing with my feelings of not being where I had planned and dreamed.

While I was doing all of this thinking, I came across a saying. It goes something along the lines of, "If God says no, it is because He has an even better yes waiting for you down the road."

A lot of people think that such a saying is something that should be considered cheesy or just wishful thinking. I don't find that to be the case.

I have come to the realization that I do know what I want in life. I do know where I want to end up. I know the direction that I am going. It is just going to take some time to get there. I have to be patient and wait for my "yes." I find hope in that saying.

There is hope that there is someone watching over me and knows what is best for me. There is hope that there is something right for me that will take me to what I desire. There is hope that there is something better yet to come. There is hope in the idea that even when life isn't going your way and knocks you down and around, if you are willing to get up and walk forward in life, you will come to your "yes." 

There is nothing wrong with having hope for the future.

That is my plan for my future: hope. I know what I want. I know where I am heading. I just have to keep moving forward. I just have to keep trying. I just have to have hope. My "yes" is there. For all I know it could be tomorrow. But I will never know if I give up because I keep hearing "no."

Yes my life isn't where I want it to be right now, but right now isn't forever. 

Til next time.

-MJ

There's my day...

It's 11. I'm tired.

I kind of wore myself out today.

I don't know what got into me, but I was Miss Super Productive today. Like the Energy Bunny...on crack. HA!

I woke up at 5 am and went hiking for a few hours. Then I came home and cleaned. I swept. I vacuumed. I dusted. I purged my room of all the loose papers and things that I really don't use (TWO big black trash bags worth of stuff!!!). I reorganized all of my shelves and drawers. I rearranged my bulletin boards and put new things on them. I decided that I didn't like the layout of my room, so I moved all of my furniture. Stood back. Realized I liked it better the way it was before. So I moved it all back. I ate lunch. I took my brother to Jiffy Lube (it was his first time and he didn't know what he was doing. I showed him the ropes.) I ate dinner. Then I went to Cabela's and bought myself something.... :)

I bought myself...

HIKING SHOES!!!

 

Aren't they so cool?!?!?!

They are officially the most I have ever paid for a pair of shoes...and probably the most I will EVER pay for shoes EVER! But I am really getting into the whole hiking thing and my poor converse just aren't  cutting it...

I am soooo excited for all the adventures that I will have in these shoes... Starting tomorrow!!! (I'm dragging my sister and her friend along with me so I can break these bad boys in ASAP!!)

There's my day... I'm going to sleep now.

Goodnight to any of those that are reading this!

Til next time!

-MJ

OH!

P.S. I have an interview tomorrow!!! Fingers crossed!! :) I'd appreciate any prayers and/or good vibes my way!

So there's that...

This last week has been rather interesting.. Quite crazy to be honest.

First. I DO NOT get along with bugs. Particularly the kind that bite you. Like mosquitoes. Or spiders.

You see, I am more allergic to these little beasties than most people are. I completely swell up like a balloon! Huge, red, hot welt that itches WAY more that you thought could ever be possible. It is truly the worst thing on the entire planet. Well..on Tuesday, I had the horrid misfortune of running into one of the awful little creatures. 

I was hanging out with my family in the front of our house; the weather is getting quite wonderful, and why stay inside when you can be out in the open air? While enjoying the warm breeze and the laughter and conversation of my loved ones, I took notice that I was starting to frequently scratch the same place on my leg. I look down and lo and behold, I find a small red bump on my ankle. Awesome. I proceed to go inside and, with every fiber of my being, do everything I can to not scratch the infected area.

The next day, it is as good as is expected. It has become a larger, swollen, red bump that ITCHES. I do my best to ignore it and continue on with my day to work. By the end of my shift, my leg is noticeably swollen and red and really... gross. It feels like it is on fire as well... My coworkers are all fairly worried, but I assure them that it is simply a mosquito bite and that it is not something that should be worried over. Still, my boss allows me to sit instead of stand and provides an icepack to help with the swelling and itching. 

The following day...It's not looking so good. My ankle and foot are visible]y swollen. The bite area is really hot. My joints are rather stiff and uncomfortable. Still, I hold my ground in the idea that it is a mere mosquito bite and that all is well. Then I get to work and everyone checks up on me. All have the same reaction: "You NEED to get to a doctor!" I shoot down the idea...at first. Then a few hours into my shift, I realize that the heat of the bite is traveling..half way up my shin; my stubborn nature starts to melt at this point. Finally I decided that I am in need of some medical attention. I ask to take a long lunch and head over to the local clinic.

The doctor comes in, looks at my leg for two seconds, and says, "Yup. That's a spider bite." Awesome. I am given some SUPER nasty medicine to stop the allergic reaction, antibiotics to combat the dirty spider mouth germs, cream to calm the itching, and a wrap from foot to knee to stop the swelling. By that night, things were looking much better! And now today, a week later, things are pretty much healed! I still have a mark on my leg and it is still a tad bit sensitive, but the situation has been neutralized!

Now a good story like that can't go without pictures!!

 Here we have my super sexy leg wrap with my trusty bag of peas alongside a picture of my leg taken about an hour before I went to the doctor.

Here is a quick comparison between an hour before the doctor on the left (ya know if you couldn't tell..) and that night after going to the doctor. Yay for modern medicine!!

So there's that.

Second. My lil bro graduated. Weird. It made me feel rather old and nostalgic... But that is a whole other story for another day!

Hmmmm... oh ya! I also took a pretty rad pic of myself! That is really lame to say... wow... HA! But hey! Nothing makes you feel better than getting a pic of you that actually looks good! So ya.. here it is...

 

Not too bad right?! I just love it when my hair cooperates! #curlyhairproblems

Well... That is all! ...for now.

Til next time!

-MJ 

 

I've made decisions...

Right now, I don't know what my next step in life is. I know what I don't really like where it is right now. 

Lately these thoughts have been overwhelming me and causing me to sit in fear and stew over it all.

Then yesterday while I was sitting up in the canyon, I had sort of an epiphany. I realized that even though I don't know where I'm going or really what I'm doing in life, I still have to move forward. I can't just sit and expect things to happen. I have to make a decision and move forward. Eventually an opportunity or life path or something will make itself known and available. But until that happens I have to continue to do things. Something. Anything.

So I decided to apply for a job, at my current job, but one that is closer to what I want to do in life. I decided that I want to be more active in my photography, so I put in an application to be an iStock Photo contributor. I have also been wanting to be in better shape and be more toned, so I decided to start some of those 30 day challenges. And I'm moving forward day by day with those decisions. 

I don't know where this is going to take me or how this is going to end, but I've made decisions. I've done something.  I'm open to what the world has to bring.

I'm still unsure about life and what I'm "supposed" to be doing, but this is a lot better than sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. 

Til next time!

-MJ


Oh and for those that have been thinking about doing the 30 day challenge things... Here are the three that I'm starting with... ya know if you want to work on this with me.. (I found them on Pinterest. You can follow me if you want... Search for Megan Jolley.. I have the same pic as my blog profile.)

It might become somewhat of a drug for me...

The other day, I talked about how I have become rather fond of hiking and going up into the canyon. Well it is true. Oh so very true. I think that it might become somewhat of a drug for me. 

I don't think that I can correctly put it into words right now. (I just got home from a long day of work... aka... I'm totally brain dead at this time..) BUT you are in luck! 

You see I went up into the canyon this morning and I brought a journal with me and I was able to rather eloquently put into words how being up in the mountains make me feel. So I thought I'd share that with you, as well as some pictures that I took today!

Here we go...

May 22, 2014 

Sometimes life gets to be too much. the complexity of jobs, resumes, loans, cars, college, social media, and even just my own thoughts bog up my life in a way that is too much for me to handle. When the pressure builds, I escape to the only place that has the ability to bring me peace.

Here I sit on the shore of Sliver Lake way up in the canyon, looking over the rippling, blue water and it all goes away. The wind rattles the aspen leaves and seems to drag all of that pressure and complexity and stress right out of me. This is the one place that I can just be.

Surrounded by the mountains, the towering walls of history and life, I am finally able to breathe, truly breathe. My confused, anxiety laden, self-doubting thoughts are silenced. The dramas of work and the thoughts of others don't matter and become practically non-existent. The fears of my unknown future that normally keep me awake for hours at night, seem so small and insignificant. 

For the few hours that I am able to spend out in the canyon, I am able to put the world behind me. I am able to live in the moment, take one step, one breathe at a time. For a few hours, I am whole.

That's my BFF.. just btw..

Go out into the mountains if you have the opportunity!

Til next time!

-MJ

Bryson Class of 2014!

Friday, May 30th. Next Friday. 10 days from now.

That is the day of my brother's graduation. My little man isn't so little anymore.

My brother is pretty much my best friend. He always knows how to make me laugh. We are crazy and goofy and completely ridiculous together. I can be 100% me around him. He is so smart and funny and kind and loving. He has the biggest heart. He is so talented and has accomplished so much these last few years. He has so much to look forward to with this next step of his life; college, education, friends, jobs, opportunities, etc. I am soo excited for him! I can't wait to watch him excel and soar into success! I love him so much, he has no idea. I don't know what I would do without him. No joke!

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of taking his senior pictures. I took almost 300 photos. I edited a little under 100 and I've somehow cut it down to just under 30 of my favorite photos to put on here. It was a process. HAHA! 

Blogger world, I present to you Bryson Class of 2014!